THE SCREW MEDITATION!
(AND ENJOY LIFE + WORK AGAIN) WORKSHOP
Recently I stopped meditating and wrote a LinkedIn post, titled SCREW MEDITATION! I clearly hit a nerve because it blew up, with nearly 130,000 views and over 300 comments (and rising) from all over the world, most echoing my feelings:
Meditation is sold as a cure-all which would eliminate my anxiety and make me feel constantly calm. I thought it was the path to peace of mind. Instead, I thought I couldn’t do it properly; it felt like something was deeply wrong with me, and made me feel even more anxious and bad about myself than before!
Before this point, I’d been regularly meditating for five years. I thought it was a magic solution to cure my whizzing brain, anxiety-driven perfectionism and chronic overworking.
But thinking about my personal experience and reflecting on the hundreds of coaching sessions I’ve had with clients over the last 15 years, I realised that meditation will never change your life if you’re a high-performing, ambitious, often anxious recovering perfectionist (like me). And there’s no magic pill, wishful thinking or exercise which will.
That’s because you are human, so it’s normal that your deep-seated beliefs and behaviours impact how you live your life and any resulting stress levels.
At the moment, you think that to be successful and happy, you need to work hard. You’re fiercely ambitious, and your family, friends, and mental health are way down your priority list. There’s really old stuff underneath this behaviour, driving you on, so you dread and hate work while constantly worrying you’ll burn out or screw up and lose it all.
WHAT HAVE YOU ALREADY TRIED?
We all have different ways of trying to quiet our ever-busy minds, on top of the ‘failed’ attempts at meditation. Maybe you've taken one or more of these routes (I know my clients, and I have):
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Toxic quick fixes:
Drugs, alcohol, overeating, shopping, binge-watching, too much social media – name your poison. Your prefrontal cortex (the rational thinking part of your brain) cannot make decent decisions, so you also stop doing the things that are good for you – you don’t eat well, exercise, or see friends.
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The Magic Pill solution:
The ultimate in perfecting yourself so that you can achieve. You go vegan, cut out carbs, do hot yoga, juicing, obsessive exercise, cut out sugar – all the things people do when looking for outside fixes for an unknowingly internal issue. The result? Anxiety, stress, overwhelm (and much less money)
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“I just need a day off…”:
You realise you’re burning out and take a sick day, sick leave, or a week’s holiday. Once you’ve caught up with personal admin, you’ll be OK, won’t you? But you don’t do your admin because you’re too mentally exhausted, and you end up sitting on the sofa with Netflix and feeling bad about yourself.
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Waiting for a miracle:
You’re always anxious and stressed but decide to wait. It will all be OK once that horrible boss leaves/that project is over/after Christmas/after your next bonus. You’ve put all the power in the hands of other people and their actions and blame others and your situation for what is going on in your life.
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Changing jobs:
If all else fails, you switch jobs and find something flexible you can do from home. At last, you’ll have time and space to think. But your old beliefs still drive you – you feel less than, not good enough. You still have that old drive to succeed, still think you always have to be on, always accessible, responding super-fast to everything, constantly pricked by those spikes of cortisol – the stress hormone. You’re still unhappy, just in a different place.
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None of these routes provides sustainable, lasting change
But you can change the way you live your life. You can change your relationship with work.
You can take control and have a life full of joy and success in a healthy way without having to sit cross-legged on the floor to do it.
Would you like to feel calmer, happier and more productive, always be present with friends and family and ready to enjoy work and life again?
The first step? The SCREW MEDITATION! workshop.
This is the perfect workshop for you if you say ‘yes’ to at least one of these:
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You put work before everything else – including your partner and kids. Everything you want and need goes right to the bottom of the list
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You think you need to be constantly available; you keep your phone by your bed and answer emails in front of the TV
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You say yes to everything work asks, never slow down or stop and are always striving
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Your self-worth comes from your success, and you think failure is not an option
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You think you are not enough, so you find it hard to set boundaries
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Your self-criticism is paralysing or getting worse
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You go between feeling exhausted and wanting to have a massive break to wanting to do ALL the things perfectly RIGHT NOW
My SCREW MEDITATION! workshop is packed with actionable, practical tools and tips, tried and tested by me and my clients over the past 15 years. You’ll learn:
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How to uncover and shift your beliefs and create new ones that will enable you to change how you work and live
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The importance of banishing “busy work,” why you do it and how to stop immediately
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How to cut the time you spend putting other people first
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How to be even more productive and in a healthy and sustainable way
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How you can live a joyful life and still have success on your own terms
You’ll unlock the secrets to:
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Why beating yourself up is never going to lead to more success
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The science behind why meditation doesn’t work for you
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Why it’s so important to set boundaries around your own time and energy
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Effective tools which work in the moment to reduce stress and anxiety
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The science behind why you keep going for the toxic quick fixes
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The importance of sleep and why sleep deprivation is known as the “new smoking.”
BOOK YOUR PLACE NOW
WHEN: 12th October 2023
London 11am BST (UTC+1)
Europe 12pm CEST
New York 6am EDT
Los Angeles 3am PDT
Singapore 6pm SGT
Sydney 9pm AEDT
WHERE: ZOOM for 90 MINUTES
Price £86 + VAT (where applicable)
If you can’t make the date listed here, please book your place to receive access to your on-demand recording.
Now you’re ready to understand what’s been driving your anxiety and perfectionism and take the first step towards creating a (calm, happy and even more productive) life that you love.
WHY AM I SO WELL-PLACED TO HELP YOU?
I’ve been where you are.
For many years, I was an outwardly successful BBC TV Producer. It looked like I had it all – a glamorous responsible job and a fantastic life.
Inside, I was a mess.
Eighteen years ago, I didn’t feel good enough. I worked and worked to the point of endangering my health and even the health of my unborn baby. Up late, back at work early, I gave work my all. I thought success was happiness; success was working hard, and work was the be-all and end-all.
I worked crazy hours, excessively partied, drank too much, cancelled holidays with friends and let people down – the classic work hard, play hard. I was driven by ambition and by what I now know is anxiety.
I thought I could change my life by changing my (unfulfilling) job, so I trained as a coach. I thought my days of crazy hours and driven overwork were behind me.
Fast-forward a few months, and work was going so well. But - I had too many clients, worked all hours and could not cope – especially as I had a young child. It wasn’t until a friend found me on the floor, literally on my hand and knees, and took me to the doctor that I realised I had a problem.
I’d moved situation, but my beliefs were the same. My beliefs drove my behaviour, so until I could interrogate and change them, anxiety, perfectionism, and overworking would run my life.
Now, 18 years later, having consistently worked through the causes of my behaviour and found sustainable solutions to my unhealthy relationship with work, I am ironically more successful in my field than ever before (I earn more but work less hours), I am purposefully living a life I love, full of people and activities (even during the working week!) which bring me pure joy. And you can too.
WHAT MY CLIENTS SAY
Sue is a great coach and mentor. Sue is both professional and warm.
She cuts through the crap and gets to the heart of what matters.
Sue is a masterful and life-changing coach. She models what it is to be a woman truly living from purpose and as a client of Sue’s, I found that extremely inspiring.
Sue shows us how navigating some of the most difficult stages of our lives can actually be revealing and joyful. She gives you the tools to rethink, refocus and restructure your life - to make sure it fits who you really are. What a gift.
It’s interesting to me how profound and yet how subtle the effects of life coaching with Sue are. They’re far reaching and long lasting. I find myself using the tools she endowed me with almost a year after my coaching ended. Sue is a brilliant coach that will relentlessly hold you to account in everything you do. I’ve really enjoyed my time with her and recommend that you to get some Sue in your life. I wouldn’t hesitate in recommending Sue
I’ve had the pleasure of working with Sue during the last year and she’s had a huge impact on both my professional and personal life. She’s a wonderful coach and mentor – great at listening and incredibly empathetic. She’s certainly taken me out of my comfort zone, but in a good way, leading to real improvements in my approach to leadership and my own coaching style.
BOOK YOUR PLACE NOW
WHEN: 12th October 2023
London 11am BST (UTC+1)
Europe 12pm CEST
New York 6am EDT
Los Angeles 3am PDT
ingapore 6pm SGT
Sydney 9pm AEDT
WHERE: ZOOM for 90 MINUTES
Full Price £86 + VAT (where applicable)
If you can’t make the date listed here, please book your place to receive access to your on-demand recording.
Now you’re ready to understand what’s been driving your anxiety and perfectionism and take the first step towards creating a (calm, happy and even more productive) life that you love.
© Sue Belton 2023